I don’t have a good relationship with death. My best friend Rob died when we were both 27 - brain tumor. Clubbing in Camden together on the Saturday night, dead by the following Tuesday; 15th February 1998. I’ve lived my life since utterly fearful of death, especially of how sudden, unannounced and brutal it can be, how it turns your life upside and how it has driven my ambition to lead a life worth that of two people, mine and Rob’s.
So when a fan of our shows, Dr Maggie Keeble, emailed me and said she’d like to talk about the theme for our next show being end of life, I was not filled with joy, I was filled with dread. Maggie’s a passionate and persuasive woman, but she also talks a lot of sense and I soon realised that we were on the same page on many things, including life, priorities, empowerment and communication.
With trepidation, the research for Dead Good began… I research themes for difficult shows that I become passionate about - from forced adoption in the 1960s, to PTS in the military, to living with dementia (which started out as all negative, doom and gloom, until of course I found Joy, aka Audrey). With my hand on my heart, though, I can honestly say that the research on end of life has been the most surprising and life changing. I’m not researching about grief (don’t need to, having done my fair share on that already), I’m researching about choice, relationships, adventures and love.
I was then introduced to Dr Lucy Martin, GP and Medical Director of the Mary Stevens Hospice in Stourbridge. Her honesty and openness left me feeling shocked and intrigued. She invited me to the hospice. The hospice left me feeling surprised and stunned. Then I met Dave, a patient there. He left feeling overwhelmed with excitement and adoration. What caused all these feelings? My preconceptions of hospices have been smashed - Mary Stevens is noisy, full of music and laughter, activities, jokes and a cupboard full of gin. Ruth, the sister, is utterly genuine and generous with time, stories and has a sense of wanting to make anything possible, from bringing a horse to the window of a patient in his final days (he loved horses), to getting into bed and holding a patient close in their final moments of life, to making a wedding happen, hours before another patient’s death. Then there’s Dave, oh my. Dave talked to me about how his cancer has totally changed him, his relationships, his way with people, his charitable nature, his capacity to love… Dave and his capacity to love; it’s a like a bottomless pit.
I’ve interviewed a lot of people - from dear, dear old friend, Barry Goldman in Munich who ran into death, fought it with all his might, and is "still on the run" using humour and stubborn determination as his weapon (let’s meet up, Barry). I’ve spoken to Jay many times; she became a doula (end of life companion, equivalent to a midwife at the beginning) after she cared so beautifully, courageously and creatively for both her 47 year old “loveable rogue” brother and her mum (teaching me also about doing all this as a Hindu female - there's a story there in itself). A GP friend talked to me about caring for his dying mother - with the top tip, expensive ice cream - the most creamy, full fat...oh and brandy. Spoon it in; her two favourite medicines.
Each person I interview has a story in itself. Because we all have stories, incredible stories of love, life and death. They are all worth telling. Dead Good will be an amalgamation of all these.
I’m reading, too; a lot. Intimate Death by Marie de Hennezel is a book to add your bucket list! She writes as a professional psychologist in a Parisian hospice and talks about how entering death offers the most intimate of experiences. When death comes close, and sadness rules, there is still room for life and joy, says Marie, and feelings more deep and intense than ever before. She quotes people’s feelings; “I need people to treat me as if I wasn't ill, for them to laugh and be natural. Our bodies have gone to hell, but our spirits are free.”
Kathryn Mannix’s book, With the End in Mind is what I’m reading at the moment and a particular chapter called Tiny Dancer has already jumped out at me. It's about Holly, a young mother close to the end of her life, who finds herself on a drug that has given her restlessness that is so extreme that she has kept the neighbours and her family awake all night with loud music and dancing. Kathryn (so wisely) suggests that the family take Holly out to the local shopping arcade for a change of scenery (whilst Kathryn goes back to the hospice to pick up another drug to relieve the endless, exhausting restlessness). When she returns, the whole family and community are outside having an 'impromptu pavement party'.This was Holly’s last day of her life, yet she was encouraged to keep living until her final breath.
One character that I've created is based on Vamos Theatre’s first mechanic (a beautifully kind and patient man who helped us out of so many scrapes, who gave so much time to a young theatre company with a big van and little clue on how to look after it). I was told he was terminally ill and that he was working all hours to make sure he sorted his business out in order to leave as much security for his wife and daughter. He then packed up and moved away to be on his own. That’s the last I heard of him. Only last night, I discovered that he moved to another country and by some miracle is still alive. I'm stunned yet again and am now searching for him, to find out his story. Please will you tell me?
I want to tell a story about the relationship of two male strangers who meet in a hospice. A great friend and Vamos Amigo has recently become a patient at St Richard’s Hospice and she talks about the amazing friendships she has made with total strangers with whom you immediately have a common theme to link your friendship - people who talk so openly and intelligently and emotionally about death. Can we learn from the dying? Surely these are the people we need to be learning from. They can also teach us how to live. There’s a scene in Dead Good, that’s called F*** it, let’s live! Rob would have laughed his head off at that. I remember his laugh the most.
Bob Mortimer is a lifelong inspiration and so I loved his latest BBC Mortimer and Whitehouse: Gone Fishing - a true story about two men’s life changing health scares (a must watch, ladies and gentlemen, for anyone who likes to laugh - if you don't, then avoid it like the plague) and then a friend suggested watching a Japanese film called Departures. I recommend both, but most of all I recommend talking; talking to everyone about death and dying, fears and wishes, bucket lists and adventures. Please can we just talk about death and dying, for heaven’s sake?
Anyway, I must dash, I’ve got a funeral to go to. Mike…lovely Mike. Another life, another story…
Rachael Savage
Dead Good is a co-production with Corn Exchange Newbury and London International Mime Festival.
I’ve been fortunate enough to see all of the Vamos productions at the MAC (Midlands Arts Centre) and without exception they have all been sensational. Thank you for opening up the much needed discussions around death with this latest production.
ReplyIn Birmingham there is a group called Brum Yodo who organise’s events to encourage people to explore and talk about death, their events have been totally enlightening. As part of there last event the MAC screened a showing of a documentary film called Dead Good, director Rehana Rose which explores alternative funerals which was incredibly moving. Also in Birmingham there is an alternative funeral directors called Natural Undertakings which is run by two women called Carrie and Fran who are inspirational in the support and the service they offer to families which is so far removed from my previous experiences.
Looking forward to the 2020 tour.
Sandra.
Thank you for getting in touch, Sandra, and it's brilliant you've enjoyed our performances so far (and been to all of them!). I've passed on your information about Birmingham resources to Rachael and the rest of the team - they sound like the kind of inspiring, alternative organisations that it will be great for us to connect with. So thank you, and please come and say hello at mac if you can make the next performance.
ReplyI firmly believe that this company does the most amazing job of educating using the power of no words.
ReplyDear folks from the comments below
ReplyI’m overwhelmed by all the messages that have come in over the weekend about my dead good blog! Thank you so much for the support and encouragement. We have conversations in the team around, “blooming heck Rache, how on earth are we going to sell this subject matter?” You’ve just given me so much ammunition!! THANK YOU THANK YOU
I am so pleased that Rachael and Vamos have embraced the issues relating to Death and Dying in such a positive way. All too often as a GP I see the negative impact on people and their families of not talking about death and not accepting that life is coming to an end. As a death denying society we need the arts including theatre and literature ( Kathryn Mannix’s book is a brilliant example) to give people insight into the many benefits of accepting the inevitable and celebrating and enjoying every moment of the life left to live. I fell in love with Vamos when I saw ‘Finding Joy’ some years ago - I feel honoured to be involved in this - their next great adventure.
ReplyVamos - We love your productions!
And to hear you are doing ‘Dead Good’ next year, co incides brilliantly with our series of ‘Dead Good’ events in Southampton.
ReplyHave a look at our website for what we did last year…https://www.deadgooddays.com
Next years plan is to coincide dates with Dying Matters Awareness Week which is mid May. We would LOVE to host your production in Southampton.
Hi Debs, thanks so much for commenting. I've posted a truncated version here and have forwarded the comment in full to Claire, our tour booker. All best wishes!
ReplyAfter reading this, it opens up so much more than the hated word DEATH!! It’s the most fearsome word in our living world .
ReplyMy mum and I are massive fans of Vamos , we were hooked from first time we saw you all. To be honest we didn’t have much idea what we were seeing, but boy by the end of it we sure did! It’s so witty, charming, funny till we were crying, then crying with immense sadness and empathy with your characters ! It’s truly amazing , well done to all involved in productions . P.S please come back to The Haymarket Basingstoke Hampshire with new production
Hello Sandra. We'd certainly love to return to The Haymarket at some point soon! Do keep checking our website for tour details as they are released and, if you've got chance, do contact the venue and let them know you'd love to see Vamos Theatre there soon! That can be really useful in letting venues know what audiences would like to see locally. Best wishes, Claire
ReplyHi every one. I am David, I have loved being involved with this show. Since speaking to Rachael I have been confronted with a few health problems. I had to decide whether to start chemo again or go to Guys hospital on a trial. I said to Rachael that I didn’t think I would do any thing and just go to my healer and live my life out. Rachael response was robust to say the least and I am mortified to think that I caused her upset that made her say the remarks she did. Any way you don’t cross Rachael and I am about to start chemo again and I hope to be with her one of the days and throw up all over her.
What I was trying to say was I love my life, the people I meet and love, the places I go and my healer who looks after me with such passion and love. This is the end of life I want to live in, not hospitals. Just because I don’t want any moor treatment doesn’t mean I have given up It means I have room to live with out the clutter .
So I will start the chemo but as soon as it affects my life I will stop. I have a great life and I mean to keep doing it at a 100 miles per hour. Death isn’t any thing to be afraid off. The passing worries me but not death Dave
ReplyWould love you to come to Wantage. You missed us out on your last tour. So disappointed. Newbury just a bit too far for us oldies….....
ReplyDear Liz, thank you for your comment. Hopefully we will be able to come to a venue somewhere near you! Once the tour is confirmed, full details will be on this website so do come back and check, or do sign up to our Newsletter list (see top right of page) to get full details as they're released. Best wishes, Claire
ReplyI love all the shows you have done so far…..they make you really think. I do so hope that Dead Good will be coming to the Marlowe Theatre in Canterbury Kent.
ReplyHello Joan, thanks for your comments. Happy to confirm that Marlowe Theatre will be part of the 2020 tour - keep watching this space! More info as soon as the full tour is confirmed. Best wishes, Claire
ReplyI am thrilled that Vamos have a new play for next year, I can’t wait.
ReplySounds a difficult project but if treated anything like those of previous productions we can look forward to an illuminating, insightful, moving but still entertaining evening.
Replylooking forward to seeing you in Didcot.
Hello Derek, thank you for your comment. We certainly hope to make a return to Didcot soon! More info as soon as the full tour is confirmed, best wishes, Claire.
ReplyReally looking forward to seeing you work your magic with all the stories Rachael. Dying is the only thing we will all do, so let’s talk!
ReplyPlease, please, come back to Norfolk. Last time we saw one of your show was in Sheringham Little Theatre. And nothing since! Very strange and sad.
ReplyAnywhere in Norfolk would make us come and see you again.
Norfolk is a beautiful area and deserve you guys to be back here.
Thank you.
Best regards
Frederic
Hello Frederic, we hope to be able to return to a venue in Norfolk with this new production. Once the tour is confirmed, full details will be on this website so do come back and check, or do sign up to our Newsletter list (see top right of the page) to get full details as it's released. With thanks! Claire
ReplyOh Rachael! Yet again you’ve made a grown man cry! Your genius for tackling difficult subject areas, and finding the truth and humour in them is extraordinary. Some how you manage it in such a respectful and memorable way to produce shows that live long in the memory, and make us look at life just a tad differently. Brava!
ReplyLove your shows ,could you tell me where abouts in the country will you be bringing
Replyyour shows .
Hello Gwen, we're in the process of booking the tour for Feb - March 2020. Once it's confirmed, full details will be on this website so do come back and check, or sign up to our Newsletter list (see top right of page) to get full details as they're released. With thanks! Claire
ReplyBeautifully and movingly written Rachael. As ever, penned with insight, empathy and love. You have a big, fearless heart. I’m wanting to see the show already.
ReplyHaving lost a few very dear friends and close relatives in my life, with more round the corner, I can honestly say that this is a story to end all stories, as it were. And one that we all need to see and pay attention to! The magnificent hospice movement deserves better public funding, and is truly the envy of Europe and other countries in the world, and as you say “end of life” does not mean end of living. And we should all give ourselves a strong dose of that. Carpe diem!
I’ve seen everyone of your shows so far, and found I could relate to something from each one. However, this show unfortunately I know I will be able to relate too. Death is hard, but living in fear of it is even harder. I’m really looking forward to seeing what Dead Good brings (:
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